is this a good book report about ancient rome?

Question

Mike Corbishley
Ancient Rome
Copyright c 2004 The Brown Reference Group plc.

In the book Ancient Rome, mentioned that Rome is in the territory of Italy in Europe, also how the Romans lived during there ancient time in Rome. The rivers of Italy were the important resources of them in history, the Tiber and the Arno Rivers. Besides, the Latin language was spoken by the Latins who lived around the south of Rome their language extend to millions of people through the Roman worlds and that’s how Latin languages passed it into many Europeans languages, that’s how the language if Italy was form. The first war was with the Carthaginians and Rome, the two national have fought for 20 years, the war ended in 241 BCE with the battle off the west coast of Sicily. In all wars what the Romans fought with was with long spears and swords and what they wear in the early years was a helmet with long plumes of feathers, carried an oval-shaped shield, and was protected by a short suit of chain mail.


In the early 1000 BCE there were villages built on the seven hills, later it made up an area of the capital city in Rome. Also, in Rome if you are an important person, people make statues and placed them in streets, public buildings, and temples. The emperor Trajan built a great monument to the Roman army. A new province was made part of the Romans empire had been defended, large armies were left to patrol the country. Hadrian’s Wall was built along Britain’s northern frontier, and similar walls along the rivers Rhine and Danube.

Answer 1

Not unless it's a children's book. If this is a "good report" then it's not a very good book!



Keep in mind that a "book report" is a summary of what a book said; whereas as a "book review" is a critique of a book.

Answer 2

first, I need to ask; how old are you? Not that I am going to judge you, but it would give me an idea as to what education level you are at.



I think it's good, it covers a lot of information, but you tend to jump around a bit. You first talk about territory, then language, then military, then architecture. Is that the order that is was written in the book? If it is, then fine, but you should go back and look at the chapters of the book, and arrange your topics accordingly.



A few grammatical errors that I saw:



your first sentence "In the book..." needs to establish the thesis of your paper. People need to know what they are about to read. You wrote about the four topics that I mentioned above, so your starting sentence should read something to the effect of: "The book "Ancient Rome" discusses many topics on Rome; geography, languages, military, and architecture." Then go on to talk about the territory.



-Your use of the word "besides" is not necessary, since you weren't talking about languages in the previous sentance. Delete the word "besides", and make that a new paragraph.



-you said:

"the Latin language was spoken by the Latins who lived around the south of Rome their language extend to millions of people through the Roman worlds and that’s how Latin languages passed it into many Europeans languages, that’s how the language if Italy was form.

-make "extends" "extended", since you are talking in the past tense. Although a better word would be "their language spread to millions of people..."

- Your use of the word "Latins" is redundant. Use Italians instead.

-It's a run-on sentence. Put a period after "...Roman world" and make "That's how Latin..." its own sentence.



Make the sentence "The first war..." the start of a new Paragraph.



It's a great first copy. A little editing and I think it is "A" grade material!



shoot me a message if you would like me to continue to edit it.



EDIT: AndyL, it's not like he asked us to write one for him, he did the work. He's just asking what we think of it. Nothing wrong with offering a little editing; heck, professional writers need editors, why not students writing book reports?

Answer 3

Its fine, but I really don't think we should be helping him with his homework. He should be graded based on what he knows, has learned, or researched, and telling him what to put isn't helping him. Also you shouldn't give him ideas on how to correct every small mistake, if he's only at a certain level, that might put his paper way over the top, and teachers usaually know when something isn't a students work. That doesn't help him anymore either.

Answer 4

awesome